When the world gets in your way...

Make anyway. And maybe a personal declaration....

I have been silent here for a very long time. I really haven't known what to write here, though, not that I haven't tried. First, for those of you who are paid subscribers, I have paused all payments. I actually did this a month or two ago because I couldn't, with a clear conscience, accept payment for something I haven't been able to do. My creative process still continues, but the projects I had hoped to work on, the ideas I had hoped to share, the poetry I have been writing all didn't feel like they needed to be seen. The work I have been doing has been more personal. The poetry I've been writing has been politically motivated. I have shared one over on omnishambles but haven't felt like anything I've written belonged here. This morning I decided it was time to step in this space and let you know what is going on, or what isn't going on.

I am deeply disturbed by our current political situation and even more disturbed that I am literally surrounded by people who think this is all okay. I feel isolated, alone, and am dealing with a certain level of outrage. One of the things I've decided to do is make friends with this outrage. I'm not talking about the stomping your feet and waving your fists, throwing a temper tantrum kind of outrage. I am talking about a quiet outrage, a beautiful outrage that moves me to action. I've discovered that when I share my frustrations, my anger, my disappointments and disillusionments, it is frequently met with the idea to look for the beautiful and had quoted to me- “Remember, beauty will save the world”. On some level it may be true but it has become a trite-ism for when someone doesn't really know what to say. I can't look to the Moss to solve my problems, and the trees have become silent. Our world is beneath layers of ice and there are no sweet greennesses to distract from the poisoned air. What I've decided instead is to not be silent, but to find a way in all my introverted-ness to speak truth when I need to. That has meant I've lost followers. I've learned a valuable lesson that when you discover who is safe with your words, who is safe with your art. You discover also who your heart is safe with.

I've decided not to let helplessness have the upper hand because that's a win for the other side. I've decided to quietly move forward. Work on the projects I know are deserving of my time. I have my own private protest going up in my studio in the form of a mural.

If you look at the unfinished side, you'll notice that Toucan(a symbol of playfulness, intelligence, and FREEDOM) is writing…

Something I've never done for myself by the way, so it feels interesting and it feels very good. I have designed a sweatshirt for myself.

Ordered it and will wear it as often as I can. I may not find the words when I need them. I may not make art that will change anyone's mind but if I can declare NO. when I go get groceries or NO. when I go to the bookstore, or NO. when I'm walking downtown, maybe the brave ones will ask me what my shirt means and I can find the words to say that what's going on now is wrong that NO this is not what democracy means.

Democracy redefined by weak hearted politicians , the elite, and the power hungry is not democracy. Even saying that here may lose me followers on this small little site, the Writist. But I'm okay with that. If you go, I wish you well-my heart is more important than your comfort.

I continue to work on books. I still have the manuscript for my larger poetry book, and still trying to decide if I want to go through the process of finding a place for publication. Still looking for opportunities to find dedicated time to focus on culling the manuscript-perhaps on the interim I'll decide what to do. For now I am going to focus on beautiful outrage-I am going to create, I am going to make, I am going to be a presence, even if it's a quiet one. I am going to seek peace when possible and accept discord when it's not. I am going to walk as humbly as I can and follow the Jesus I have come to know- I will NOT accept any other version. So, to the current “leadership”-

I say NO.

You will NO.t co-opt my understanding of Christ.

You will NO.t co-op my understanding of love God

You will NO.t co-opt my understanding of love your neighbor

You will NO.t co-opt my compassion

You will NO.t co-opt my kindness

You will NO.t co-opt my generosity

You will NO.t co-opt my empathy

You will NO.t co-opt my ability to love

You will NO.t co-opt my understanding of what's right and what's wrong

You will NO.t co-opt my ability to create

You will NO.t co-op my ability to reach out

You will NO.t co-opt my right to help another human being

You will NO.t co-opt my daylight hours

You will NO.t co-opt my night

You will NO.t co-opt my acceptance of the people around me

You will NO.t co-opt my hope

You will not co-opt my peace

You will NO.t co-opt my faith

You will NO.t co-opt my joy

You will NO.t co-opt my future

You will NO.t co-op my ability to speak freely

You will NO.t co-op my understanding of freedom

You will NO.t co-opt my understanding of we the people

You will NO.t co-op my understanding of democracy

My answer to you is NO.

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If this is good bye for some of you-I wish you well, I really do. For those of you who made it to the end, thank you. Your support in the past has meant more than you know-consider using what support you gave me to find the helpers on Substack, or those news outlets committed to sharing the truth here and support them.

Peace, and be safe,

Susan